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At the end of the day, whether sparks fly or conversation fizzles, first dates provide an opportunity to make new friends. Kim Halford, “Individual differences in dispositional mindfulness and initial romantic attraction: A speed dating experiment,” Personality and Individual Differences 82, (2015): 14-19.And because attention reveals intention, both romantically and platonically, every first date can be a win-win. Just by being mindful and attentive, any men out there that are reading this, you can put yourself way ahead of everyone else and find more "success" and satisfaction in your dating life.After all, it is not only about the physical attraction (contrary to popular belief) that determines whether or not a second date is in the cards, but the topics of conversations, emotional engagement, and manners all have a large role in whether you two could be a potential match or whether you actively choose to never speak to this person again.The dating game is an imperfect market: You may dazzle your date with your wit and megawatt smile only to never hear from them again. Nobody appreciates waiting around for his or her date to arrive late.In a world of multitasking, we often inadvertently display inattention, which can jeopardize relationship development. Secrets Revealed Through Speed-Dating Research We learn much about first-date chemistry through speed-dating research.Divided attention reduces the ability to cultivate chemistry, because distraction transmits disinterest. Speed dating involves a series of face-to-face interactions with prospective romantic partners, often lasting only several minutes.Keep in mind that dating new people is a healthy way to get over your ex. Even if you don’t meet your Prince Charming or Cinderella, you still have an opportunity to laugh, let your hair down, and practice your conversational skills. One of the biggest pet peeves in today’s society is trying to have a conversation with an individual who is busy on their phone.Social encounters are good for the soul, especially if your glass is half full. You are on a date, with a real human being, so please take an hour break from texting, social media, and surfing the web, and focus on the present.
Yet research indicates that men and women may respond to attention differently.
Remember to engage in active listening by asking follow-up questions or commenting on a statement your date made. You are there to get to know a new person and share new experiences so do not let your ex get in the way of that.
Your date will be impressed when you remember a detail about a conversation in the future. Bringing up an ex on a first date can make you seem like you may still have feelings for him or her or you may have some unresolved issues that need to be addressed. Many believe that dating is stressful, scary, and even a waste of time, but remember that it can be fun, especially if you keep an open mind and maintain a positive outlook.
Of course, things come up like traffic, getting lost, or an emergency at work; however, when these events do occur, please let your date know that you are running late beforehand and give a legitimate reason why. Yes, pride and self-love are important, but so is listening and learning about your date.
If you are panicked and rushing in late to meet your date, take a deep breath, smile, and greet your date with a heartfelt apology. After all, you both are here to get to know each other, are more likely to provoke emotions and further the conversation. What is not okay is when you talk about your past relationships on a first date.