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She and Paul married anyway, and over time the difference in maturity dissipated. While I don't think it's important to adhere to an arbitrary formula when considering age in a potential relationship (interestingly, when I met Kevin our age difference was exactly this ratio), I think it can be a good rule of thumb to help you consider if your relationship is appropriate.(A 37 year old dating a 25 year old is different from a 30 year old dating an 18 year old.) I often tell people that Kevin and I met at the perfect time."It feels like it wasn't that long ago." When Leah, a national of Singapore, first got to know Travis, who was 10 years her junior, she was attracted to him, but "I tried to tell myself it wouldn't work because of the age difference.I fought those affections like crazy." But as an undeniable connection formed, Leah finally made a bold request: "I told the Lord, unless I hear Travis say, 'The Lord has laid it on my heart that you are to be my wife,' I will not move forward." The night before the two gave a group presentation together, they met to pray. I guess it was because I'd heard two or three stories of the woman being seven years older, so I'd sort of decided that was the outer limit of age difference acceptability. (And I would hit 31 a month before his next birthday.) Feeling defeated, I sat at the small wooden table in Starbucks, where I was meeting Kevin for the first time since my startling discovery. In case you're wondering, I married that guy eight months later. I don't know why this one year made such a difference to me.And while we could exercise wisdom in thinking through some of the unique challenges we might face, we could also trust Him with the details. He explains that during his years at a Bible college, he gave his desire for a spouse over to the Lord and asked Him to determine who his wife would be.

How will you address potential challenges, such as being on different biological timetables, one of you ending up a caretaker, the timing of children, or dealing with gaps in maturity?

"I had surpassed him in some areas — I had been in the workforce for 12 years when we met and held leadership positions in church." I had similar concerns when I met Kevin.

From our first conversation, I could tell he was very mature for his age. Once I learned his actual age, I was concerned that he might not be ready to settle down and have a family, when I definitely was.

"God brought us together, and once we knew that, the other factors didn't really even matter. The couple still serves together in ministry and has two teenage sons.

When Kevin learned I was eight years older than him — by seeing pictures of my 30th birthday party on Facebook — first he didn’t believe it (bless him!

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  1. rob gordons dating philosophy 05-Apr-2017 22:04

    However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).

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